Words have felt stuck in my throat. They are stuffed down and unable to come out. It has been a while since I have written. I have not even been doing my personal journaling.
Describing my words as being stuck, stuffed and unable to come out is a reflection of how our lives can be at times as well. I do not know about you but I have definitely encountered periods of time where I felt stuck, stuffed down and unable to shake it off.
Sometimes I do not even know what I am stuffing. I can be angry that I am not getting my way but in reality, I do not even know what I want! This just adds fuel to the fire. No matter how much I continue to stuff it down parts will slip out. It can bubble out of the top as anger, sadness, frustration, etc. It has many faces. I complain and self-loath. I am easily agitated and aggravated.
I keep stuffing to “protect myself”. I avoid it and avoid it until the stuffing and avoiding become all I can focus on. This morning I finally asked myself if I wanted to be miserable. The answer is NO! I had to be intentional about finding something outside of the self-loathing protective shell I was putting around myself. I had to admit that I was using it as armor and that it was not doing a good job. Before I could move past it, I had to own it. Before I could quit giving it so much power, I had to admit it.
Looking at ourselves and owning “the baby” before you throw it out with the bath water is important. If we do not then we might just find another coping mechanism to try out.
****Over the summer months we will continue blogging but we will also slow down a little along the way so we may not post every Tuesday. We hope you enjoy your summer!
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