One of the biggest stressors I encountered when I first started counseling was feeling pressure to have answers for people. Clients would come in with problems, often major ones, and tell me their story. Sometimes I had difficulty even listening to them well because I was constantly trying to think of what I should say.
Feeling the pressure to have answers is common among many of us.
While we all are not counselors, I do think many of us share this struggle. We all encounter others hurting, in need, lost, and broken. I believe many of us that are Christians feel even more pressure to have all the right answers. This is unfortunate because it places undue pressure on us. God does not want us to carry such burdens.
Having answers is not our job and ultimately it is not what we need.
It took several experiences for God to teach me that it’s okay not to have answers, and I still fail to trust Him in that sometimes. The realization that I could not fix anyone or the problems they were encountering was difficult to swallow. Isn’t that what a counselor is supposed to do? Isn’t that what Christians are supposed to do? Well…..NO, it’s not.
We may need to be reminded of this: we are not God. We do not have all the answers. He does, but we do not. He has the power to heal, meet needs, draw people home, and restore relationships. We can certainly be a part of that process when we are invited into it, but we are not in charge of it, and we are not responsible for having all the answers and abilities to fix what ails ourselves and those around us.
Trust gives us access to what we truly need, for ourselves and to offer others.
We tap into this healing, restorative, and calming Grace that God offers us by trusting Him. We can trust Him not just to become involved in our lives and those around us, but trust that He ARLEADY is involved. We can trust Him to show us what He is up to, or better yet show us what it looks like for us to be who He created us to be in those circumstances.
Loving others doesn’t require answers.
Love doesn’t demand that we bear the burden of having to fix anything or anyone. Many times loving others well means less talk and more offering them our time and listening well. Regardless of what it looks like, being lovers is exactly what He invites us to do. He does that because that is who He has made us to be. Live loved…receive the love He has for us, bask in it as often as we can, and allow that love to empower us to share it with others. Let His grace and love be a reminder to take a deep breath before speaking or reacting when presented with life’s problems, whether it be our own or someone else’s.
“God, you’ve got this. We trust You. You love us, you are holding us tightly, and you are not going to let go. May we rest in Your love, and share it with each other…even more so when we are hurting. Father, may we not seek cheap solutions, self-help books, psychological parlor tricks, and temporary answers to life’s biggest hurdles. Instead, may we be blessed with a calmness and patience that only You can bestow in us, so that we may desire to receive what we need from You exactly when we need it.”
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